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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?